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10/19/10

I sit here now
And I look back
At my life across the years
I recall the joys
And all the pains
The laughter and the tears
The mistakes I’ve made
The lessons learned
The times that I’ve been wrong
As well as all
The happy times
That life did bring along
Im amazed
That Im alive
I think I should be dead
From all the things
That’s happened here
Both to my heart and head
So now I sit
And try to think
Just what life means to me
Both what life is
And what I hope
The future years will be
Life is such
A confusing thing
As you sow, so shall you reap
You must pay a price
For what you learn
And the answers don’t come cheap
And we’ve all had dreams
That slowly died
As the hourglass passed its sands
And it’s true that life
Is what happens while
You’re making other plans
For the dreams do not
Always come true
That rarely is the case
And as soon as you
Get to your feet
You fall back on your face
Then there are those
Who’ll gladly take
Your dreams and hopes from you
Then leave you standing
As an empty shell
Not knowing what to do
They’ll take your heart
Then take your soul
They’ll promise to be around
Then at first sign
Of troubled times
They’ll drop them to the ground
Then as you pick
The pieces up
From all over the place
The one who said
They’ll always care
Laughs right in your face
And as you stand
With teary eyes
And a sad and broken heart
You can only watch
The one you loved
As they turn and they depart
For there is no way
To keep them close
Or do what they will not do
Just as you can’t
Will a rose to bloom
You can’t make them love you
So you let them go
Even though it hurts
You must let them go away
For it’s to no avail
If you’re not wanted
To try to make love stay
And then begins
The empty nights
And the long and hollow days
But the road back to
A healthy heart
Can take so many ways
It can take you down
So many paths
With only one as the right trail
And the times you’ve made
A wrong turn or two
Are impossible to tell
But with the help
Of Special Ones
And from God above
You reclaim yourself
As you reclaim
The capacity to love
Yet still you fear
To love again
To give freely from the heart
‘Cause you’re so afraid
One day they’ll leave
So you hesitate to start
But deep inside
You know that
To give it any less
Would only be
An invitation
To make good love a mess
So here Im
My Sweet Angel
I stand before you now
Offering to you
All that I am
I hope it’s enough somehow
‘Cause even though
I sometimes fear
I know you do not lie
And I entrust to you
My heart each time
That I look into your eyes
Please know my love
That every time
I touch your auburn hair
And look into
Those smiling eyes
I see my place in there
And when I draw you
Close to me
As your breath mixes with mine
I taste your lips
And I know
I could stand by you through time
Then all at once
From deep inside
I feel things I’ve never felt
And Im so glad
I’ve played the cards
That life so cruelly dealt
For without them
I would not be
The man that Im now
And to love someone
So totally
I just would not know how
And if we’d met
Before all of that
Before life made us search our heart
The precious love
That we have found
You or I would tear apart
But perhaps now
That we both know
Of the pain that love can give
We’ll play no games
With the other’s heart
Just share the life we live
I once said I
Would live my life
In fear again to care
For if Im hurt
Like that again
My soul would disappear
But I now say
That’s a chance I’ll take
Just to be with you
‘Cause nothing ventured
Nothing lost
Means nothing is gained too
Despite the fears
Im not one
To live my life alone
I’ve always wanted
That Special One
And a kind and gentle home
And it’s not a question
Of being afraid
To have no one by my side
It’s just that it’s
Not who I am
And from it I will not hide
And you have a Son
From your own past
I accept him as my own
I hope he will
Accept me as Dad
So we’ll have a happy home
For we both have
Our troubled pasts
That we must both forgive
And learn to accept
If side by side
We ever hope to live
I’ll never be
A wealthy man
I knew it years ago
I can’t offer you
An easy life
As through the years we go
And Im not perfect
I have my faults
I don’t ride a gallant steed
Im not a knight
In shining armor
Just a human being with needs
But I’ll give to you
A gentle hand
And two arms to hold you tight
And I’ll try my best
To let you know
I love you day and night
To promise more
Would not be right
Just promises in vain
We’ve had enough
Of them broken
We know that cutting pain
So with a lump
Stuck in my throat
With nervous, shaky hands
I offer you all
The love I have
From a bruised, big hearted man
If you can live
With all I am
With all the good and bad
Then I can live
With yours My Love
Through the happy and the sad
I’ve no idea
Where we would live
And how I do not know
But I have faith
The Lord shall provide
As through the years we go
Now I ask you
To stand by me
As the years do pass us by
And know that I
Do love you so
And that I do not lie
For when I say
‘Till death do us part”
I pray that it shall be
I know not what else
To say except…
Cindy, will you marry me?

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