Haiku- Happiness

What is happiness?

Is it long bouts of laughter,

giving lots of love?

Can you grabble it?

Can you catch it in a flask?

Or is it just free.

Does it run and hide

when hard times come to pass by?

Or is it stronger.

What is happiness?

Do you hold the key to it?

Is it even locked up.

Can it be locked up?

Is it to vast to contain?

Like a flowing stream.

Can you lose it all?

Can it vanish in thin air?

Is it forever gone?

Can you retrieve it,

if you try your best at it?

Will it soon come back?

What is happiness?

The memories of the past,

hopes of the future?

Will I ever understand

the truth that lies in the word?

Is it a secret?

No, it is within.

It is within ones own self. 

That is happiness. 

It’s known there are
Three types of Self
There’s the You that others see
There’s how You really
Are and how
You view Yourself to be
But as for me
I’ll add a fourth
Which means the most to me
It’s not what’s seen
It’s more about
The Self I want me to be
I don’t want to be
Some grouchy fart
Who spends his days alone
Instead I hope
To be the one
With a warm and loving home
A home where folks
Will come and go
Some will leave and others stay
Come through my door
Without a knock
At most any time of day
A place my kids
Will know as “home”
However far away they go
They’ll recall this place
With fond memories
Of Parents who loved them so
When the bad in life
Has got them down
Or they’ve got a troubled heart
The memories
Will serve them well
And make the dark clouds part
To look and see
The love we shared
Long after Im gone
To recall the laughs
All of the hugs
And a family that was strong
There’s nothing else
I can think of
More precious than their smile
When Im long gone
I pray they will
Think of me once in a while
Each time they laugh
Or feel love’s warmth
Coming from their inner space
I hope they will
Remember Dad
With a big smile on their face
I aspire to be
A simple man
Who’s a blessing not a curse
I hope to leave
My heart behind
Forever saved in verse
Someone who you
May never know
Save the words I leave behind
I hope they touch
Some part of you
And span through years of time
I pray the words
That I write down
For the entire World to see
Will help someone
I may never know
As much as they’ve helped me
I don’t wish to be
A person who
Only lives for material gain
I’d rather live
For the memories
Each passing day will bring
The material things
Will fade away
As soon as we cease to be
The only things
We can take with us
Are our own life’s memories
They make up who
And what we are
As they bond to our soul
They’re the only things
We get to take
When from this life we go
My treasures are
The things in life
I experience along the way
So I try my best
To make them good
As I live my life each day
I don’t want to be
Someone who
Lives with a heart of hate
Those are not the thoughts
I wish to take
I won’t let that be my fate
I wish to be
Someone who
You’ll think of as a friend
Someone you will
Fondly recall
Long after my days end
Someone who
When folks gather ‘round
And tell their stories about me
It’ll be with warmth
And a laugh or two
As they tell fond memories
And as they tell
Of things I did
I hope it always comes to light
Of words I shared
That inspired them
To love instead of fight
‘Cause it’s not for me
It’s for my Friends
For my Kids and for my Wife
My whole Family
I hope it’s clear
That’s why I lived my life
There’s so many people
In this World
That live to take from you
They’ll take everything
You have to give
Then disappear from view
When you are down
When your heart cries out
For a friend you look around
The times when you
Need someone to care
They are nowhere to be found
Then the loneliness
Fills you inside
From all over the place
And you feel complete
Aloneness as
The tears roll down your face
That’s when I hope
You’ll see me standing
In the corners of your mind
To know that you
Are not alone
You are in this heart of mine
When friends I know
Are feeling low
And there seems no one to care
I hope they look
Into their own mind
To see me standing there
Just a thought or two
Of something shared
To bring comfort to their soul
Some memory they
Will take with them
As through their lives they go
And every time
They’re feeling good
I hope I’ve played a part
I pray they’ll smile
Then think of me
As laughter fills their heart
I wish to live
For love of life
And to help others to see
The joys each day
This is The Self
That I Want Me To Be

Suwintermer

Describe your favorite season (fall, spring, summer, or winter). Tell what kinds of things you like to do during that season.

Okay so I don't have a favorite season. Fall definitely sucks because that's when school starts, the only good thing about the entire season is Thanksgiving and that's just for the food. Spring isn't all that great or bad it's just whatever I can take it or leave it. In fact I would probably leave it if it wasn't for Spring Break. As for summer it is AWESOME. First off we have Summer vacation and that's enough said, but we also have the beach and pool. And I love swimming. Summer would be so 100 if it wasn't for how hot it gets sometimes. I am just not a fan of being hot. Which brings me to my next season winter. Now winter is also very AWESOME because it gets cold. Yay for 70 and below. I love the fact that it's cold and you get to snuggle up and get all warm and shizz. Oh and how can we forget Christmas the best holiday ever yo...New Years is also pretty great after all we can be grateful for living another year. And best of all winter is my birthday season!!! Yup, December 7th, best day of the entire year. The only downfall to winter is that it's only awesome up until the 2nd week of January, after that it gets to be kind of blah. But you know what would be extremely AWESOME? If i Could combine winter and summer. Suwintermer. I would have the best of both worlds you know. Life would be....AWESOME.

Wheels of Fortune

If you could be on any game show, what would it be? Describe what happens when you're on the show

The game show I really want to be on is Wheels of Fortune. I totally love this game show, it's like you always win something. Even if your not the top winner you still get something. Also it doesn't require much skill. You basically just have to be good at filling in the blanks. Wheels of Fortune is also so uncomplicated. No higher levels, no tricky questions, barely (if any) rules. It's just a simple fun game show, that doesn't rely totally on luck but only has a little strategy to win. Best game show ever!!!!

Home

What do you like best about your home?

Materialistically speaking the  thing I like best about my home is my room. It's like the best place in the whole house man. I've got my own bathroom and my own backdoor. My bed is a perfect Queen. My color palette is totally me. Wild, loud and crazy that is. Oh and I just have really cool paintings and pictures all over the place. I swear all I need is a microwave  and mini-fridge and I would never need to leave my room. I have all the needed to be happy right here in this little room. 

But like  said that was materialistically speaking, now from the heart the best thing about my home is the love that fills it. There are probably millions of houses across the world that aren't homes. In my opinion anyone can build or buy a house, but only the love of one another can make that house a home.

Owner...That's right

Imagine you worked at a football stadium. What would your job be? (examples: quarterback, cheerleader, coach, referee, ticket seller) Describe what you would do while you were on the job.

If I worked at a football stadium I wouldn't work there I would be the owner. Why work when you can hire other people to work for you, and still get paid. I would periodically check in on my investment to make sure that my profits are straight. That would be the life.

On the outside looking in

How old were you four years ago? Describe some things you can do now that you couldn't do then.


Four years ago I was 11 years old. So I could barley do anything Lol. The most freedom I had was walking home from school and going to the park,maybe. But honestly I wouldn't want any more freedom than that because if I could do all I do now back then I have no clue where I would be today. Like if I could stay out till the wee hours of the morning at 11 years old who knows the type of trouble I would have gotten into. Come to think of it I would probably be pregnant or something if my mother allowed me to act all out at that young age. So it's actually a serious blessing that I had age appropriate freedom.

Monkey No-no

Do you think a monkey would make a good pet? Explain why or not.

   Although monkeys are awesome they are also extremely aggressive. So I don't know rather or not I would be to comfortable having one around the house. I mean I have a serious love for my stuffed ones and I totally swoon over them at the zoo. But if I were to give a direct answer I would have to say no, a monkey would not make a good pet unfortunately.

Dino

Describe the youngest person you know.

 The youngest person I know is my little cousin Dino. Dino isn't his real name it's short for something but his real name is to hard to pronounce and I have no clue as how to spell it. Anyhow Dino is 15 months old and the world's busiest baby. That little boy gets into everything. If it is in his reach he is going to go for it. And once he has it you best believe all hell is going to break loose. Dino will throw just about anything in the trash or the toilet. Chains, phones, toys, food I mean everything. But he is the cutest little dude ever!!! I love him so much

Silence invades
Stifling all thought.
A man stands at the edge
of a chasm, confused,
Alone, lost
He knows this place.
His body language
Makes it obvious.
He is searching,
Something is missing.
He sees it, finally.
The burned wreckage,
Of what was a bridge.
Collapsed down
To that far away floor.
Vague memories,
Of explosives
Made of words and actions,
Come back to him;
He knows where he is.
A whispered word,
Half remembered,
Unconsciously leaves his mouth;
Floats across,
Echoing.
The word grows louder,
As it rebounds,
Bringing torturing clarity
To those oft forgotten
Memories.
His face twists,
Into an ugly,
Grimace, a snarl.
His teeth gnash,
His muscles grow taught.
Tense, he says
The word again.
Louder and louder
It grows, He stands
As if a rock.
He hears the word,
For the first time
Since it left his mouth.
That terrible word.
His tears flow freely.
He stares long and hard
At the depths of that chasm.
His eyes trace the other side,
Looking for some way across.
It is so far away.
That word escapes
His mouth again,
Without thinking;
Her name echoes
Across the canyon.
His brow furrows,
His jaw clenches.
He kicks a rock;
Watches as it falls,
Into the depths.
His eyes search,
Longing for a way.
It is too far.
He paces, faster;
Faster.
Muttering her name,
As the madness strikes,
He flies into a frenzy.
His voice rises
In a feverish crescendo.
Without Warning
He stops, exhausted;
Cries out her name.
The ground rushes up
To meet him.
Unconscious,
He lays on the edge.
His unseeing eyes
Staring at the unend-
Ing sky.
Days, weeks, months,
Pass as he lies.
He forgets, standing.
He stares across the chasm,
Searching…

"Grandma"

Describe the oldest person you know.

 The oldest person I know is "Grandma". Now Grandma isn't my real grandma but that's what everyone calls her. She used to live in my apartment but she moved out a few years back. I remember when she still lived her though, there is no way I can ever forget Grandma. 

  Well to start off Grandma's real name is Maria Cooper and she is now 90. She immigrated here from Nigeria like 60 years ago. Grandma would tell me stories of how it was back home in Nigeria when she lived there. Even though she was from Nigeria I never heard an accent it sounded more English than anything. But anyway Grandma is one of the sweetest people I know. As long as I have known her I have never heard her yell, raise her voice or say a bad thing to or about anyone. She always had extra food and treats in her house and was always available to babysit. All the little kids loved when Grandma watched them, because we knew we were in for cookies, candies and stories. 

 When she moved away it was really sad. I remember going into the empty apartment and still being able to smell the scent of Grandma. It's been years and many people have moved in and out of that unit but no matter what everyone still refers to it as Grandma's apartment.

Picture perfect

Imagine you were a wonderful painter and your parents would let you paint anything you wanted on your bedroom walls. What would you paint? Use lots of details to describe your artwork.

  Well I am a pretty good painter and I can paint my room whenever I want, It's just that I don't want to paint it. I don't think you understand how extraneous painting a room can be. It is just so much hard work that I just don't do it. So to rephrase the question if I wanted to spend the energy painting my room, what would I paint? Well I would start with either a black or starch white base/primer then I would just splash different paint colors all over. After that dries I would use either black or white(depends on the color I used for the base, because I would need to use the opposite color)  to  make floral swirls on top of the splatters. And on my ceiling I would spray paint(graffiti style) "Ashley's World". Oh, I would also leave empty space on my south wall were I could use metallic markers to doodle. That way I can write on my wall and not get in trouble because it's suppose to be there.

  So there you have it. This is the way my room would look if I felt like actually doing it. Laziness is certainly a downfall LOL.

The Bat Who Couldn't Fly

Write a story titled, "The Bat Who Couldn't Fly."

There was a bat. 

He couldn't fly. 

His family was ashamed of him. 

He had no friends. 

He was so depressed.

He tried to fly.

He fell and broke both his legs.

There was a bat.

He couldn't fly nor could he walk.

His family was even more ashamed 

The little bat was even more depressed than before.

So there he was crawling on his belly.

He crawled through the woods,

He crawled through the marsh,

He crawled right up to the river bank.

Then he crawled into the river...

And he began to swim.

Just like that, he swam.

He swam and swam and swam.

His parents weren't ashamed now.

He made lots of friends.

The little bat wasn't depressed, he was very happy.

The bat who couldn't fly could swim.

Pizza with Sasha

If you could have lunch with any famous person who would it be? What would you talk about with this person?

  If I could have lunch with any person it would have to be Aleksander Vujacic. Better known as LA Lakers shooting guard Sasha Vujacic. I don't know there is just something about him that just intrigues me so. Maybe it's his thick Slovenian accent or his dark Serbian features. It could be the way he towers over so many at a solid 6ft 7in. Or maybe it's the way he flips his hair. Actually I thing it's the way his last name sounds. Whatever it is I like it. 

 So if I could have Lunch with him first off I would choose pineapple pizza because it's my favorite. Then I would like to talk about him. Just basically his life. That would be really cool to hear him talk about growing up in Slovenia and all that jazz.Actually it would just be really cool to hear him talk. I don't know call me crazy but when I read this prompt this is the first name that came to mind. I mean of course if I really thought about it I could have come up with way more extravagant people. Like great actors (Denzel or Will Smith), legendary singers (Whitney Houston), Motivational people(Oprah) and of course I could have chosen they ever so popular,wonderful, extraordinary, handsome, just plain awesome Mr. President Barack Obama. But I didn't I chose my dear ol' Aleksander.

The Headaches

Do you have any brother or sisters? If you do, tell what they are like. If not, tell whether or not you would like to have a brother or sister.

 *sigh* Yes, I do have both brothers and sisters. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters. Ages are Ebony 19, Nile 13, Alexis 12, Markel 7, and Gabriella 5. Siblings are like the best and worst of both worlds. They make you want to scream but they also make you laugh. They take your things without permission, but you do the same. They are always in your face all up in your space, but without them there you don't know what you would do. I love them all, all the time. But I don't necessarily like them all the time. We have the cry babies, the whiners, the stealers, the liars, the tattle tales, the grumpy ones, the comedians, the huggers, the kissers, the way beyond their years, the spoiled brats, the overly dramatic ones, and most of all we have the protectors. 
  We all protect each other from everyone else. It's like we fight each other and try to sabotage one another but don't let anyone else try to hurt one of us then it gets real personal and real ugly. Having brothers and sisters means having friends from birth. Boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends and just friends come and go throughout life, but your sibs are there always. No matter what you do you can count on them to be there, and that's something you can't say about everyone. You can tell them things you wouldn't tell your parents or anyone else for that matter. And even when they get under your skin and you yell innuendos like "I hate you!" or "Why can't you just leave me alone!"or my personal favorite "I wish I never had a brother/sister!" sometimes it's remixed to "I wish I were an only child!", but with all that said none of it's true. And it's never taken seriously because you know and they know that without one another we could never be who we are today.

Dream Pet

If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be? Describe the pet and how you would take care of it.

 Well my wildest dream pet would be a monkey. I absolutely love monkeys they are soooooo cute. Oh I would be so elated if I got a monkey. But monkeys tend to be a little violent sometimes and attack people. So I think I wouldn't want one in real life. Dogs are pretty awesome too, but that's just to simple and ordinary to choose a dog. Although I do want 3 dogs a German Rottweiler, Golden Retriever, and a  Teacup Maltese. I plan to have all three of these dogs at some point in my life. But they wouldn't be my all time dream pets because 3 dogs are a lot of work. I mean I'm a dog lover but I could live quite well without having to clean up after the nasty buggers. My ideal pet would be a really cute one that had minimal to no grooming and cleaning to do. I think I'd like  fish. Fish are pretty awesome they sit there and mind their business as you go about yours. You feed them about every two days and change the water every week or so and they would be good. No walking them or bathing them or cleaning up behind them. No one is ever allergic to fish and they can't disturb your neighbors. And you can have up to a dozen in the same tank if they are small. Or you can have one or two big ones. Or you can mix it up and have a few small and a few big. You just got to make sure your not mixing breeds that will kill each other. But in the end fish are just all around great pets to have.

My Journey on a Pirate Ship

Write a story titled, "My Journey on a Pirate Ship." You and your friends can star in the story.

The story you are about to read is not like most. It has no beginning nor has it an ending. There  is no explanation to why or how. Don't bother trying to figure out the moral, for there is none. In fact if you were to ask me I would tell its all a bunch a nonsense. But I can't because it's not a bunch of nonsense. Every last bit of it is true. And I would know because this story you are about to read is about me. The time I was on a pirate ship.

  Like I stated earlier this story has no beginning. I woke up one morning because I was feeling terribly nauseated. It literally felt like I was being rocked back and forth for an immensely long time. When I opened my eyes I saw a vast darkness. I felt around for where my light switch should have been but I couldn't seem to find it. As my eyes began to adjust to the pitch blackness I came to realize that there were no windows or doors. Just a bed and four bare walls. This was not my room. And plus it smelt like ocean water and dead fish. So I did as any normal person in this situation would have done. I began banging on the walls and yelling for help. I didn't know where I was or how I got there but I knew one thing for sure, someone was bound to hear me. And that they did. Before I knew it about a dozen little men ran into the dark room.

  They looked just as confused as I felt. 

"Arg, who in tarnations are you? " said one of them 

"Who are you and where am I?!?!?!" I yelled back. 

"Well we are the Half Pint Pirates, and you are aboard our fine vessel Sheba"

" That's just great, Now would you mind telling me how the heck I got here?!?!"

" Oy lassie you mustn't yell. Your voice it carries ya know"

"I mustn't yell well excuse me if I am just a tad bit irritable. I've had a rough morning. I woke up in the middle of the sea, in the bottom of a ship named Sheba with twelve midget pirates! I think I reserve the right to yell!

"Aye, the youngun 'as a point there"

"Would you like a cup 'o joe and a warm blanket little lassie?"

I had been on such a rampage I didn't even realize how freezing it was down here...wherever here was.

"Uh, yeah that would be nice I guess"

"Good, good we'll get you something warm to drink and maybe we can make some sense of this"

"Yeah, that's the best thing I've heard all morning"

As we were entering the top deck a huge gust of wind blew. It was so strong that it knocked me onto my feet. I was a bit disoriented and had lots of sand water in my eyes. As I was getting up I stubbed my toe on something. It hurt so bad I opened my eyes, forgetting about the stinging sensation. As my eyes opened familiarity swarmed my senses as I recognized my own bed, and desk, and dressers. I was back in my room. 

  Now you maybe saying that it's quite obvious it was all a dream. But I think not. If it was a dream then why did my eyes sting when I got home. And how come I still had a slight hint of sea sickness. And this is the biggest one. If it was a dream then why when I got back home, why was their a fish in my shoe? Exactly this was no dream my friends. This really happened to me. Every last bit of it is the truth. Mostly.

Deepest Fear

Describe your Deepest Fear

  Most people are afraid of insects or dogs. Some are afraid of failure or being in the dark. And you have the majority of the people who fear death, pain and really evil people. Oddly enough none of these things are my deepest fear. Every last one of them are just a part of life that everyone will have to deal with sooner or later, so why be frightful? 
 Now I'm not saying a huge cockroach doesn't totally make my skin crawl or my heart doesn't race when a Pitbull growls at me. And I'm certainly not trying to say psycho killers don't give me the hibbie-jibbies, because they most definitely do. Getting scared is a part of human nature so im not trying to claim to be super human or anything like that. In fact my deepest fear is so crippling to me that I try my hardest not to have to think about it or I get really anxious and suffer from anxiety attacks. Yeah it's that serious.
 My deepest fear is the one thing I can't escape. My deepest fear is reality. More so that the reality I know might not be real. Now I don't expect anyone to really understand this, but it was the assignment so I will try my best to clarify it. So what I mean is that I fear the unknown. Not the unknown that can soon be figured out, but the unknown that will never be known. Like who am I? And is this really happening or is it some sort of facade? Am I in a imaginative dimension that I shall forever be a prisoner of?
  Okay I know who I am in relation to this "world", but what is this world in relation to me? Who is to say this is real or not? It is just so deep it's scary. There's like to many questions and no answers for them. I don't need scientist's and theologian's and philosopher's theories. I need answers, proven answers. But of course I can't get them. The only way I am able to satisfy myself is to hold faith in my religion. Keep on believing God just made it this way. My only solace is to be able to keep on blaming it on God's plan. I need to say this is all there is. There are no reasons why or how. It is all because God said so. I can;t afford to question this reasoning because if I do then I will drive my self two ways to crazy trying to figure out the "truth".

Restuarant...I think not

Imagine you opened your own restaurant. Tell the name of your restaurant. explain what the restaurant looks like, who works there, and what you serve.

  Now if you read the posts that came before this one then you would know I DO NOT LIKE COOKING!!!  So why in Heaven's name would I open a restaurant??? Although people do like to eat and  food joints can be successful, but still getting into a buisness you have no passion for never really works for the best. 

  Even though I wouldn't open a restaurant I can still discuss what it would be like if I ever did. To start off it would be the shape of a pair of red lips(would you consider lips a pair???). I think that architectural design would draw in sooo many people just because it looks so awesome. And the name would be...catch this... Les Levres Rouges. It means The Red Lips in French. How cool is that? As for my employees They would be hot French folk. To be more specific hot male French folk. And there uniforms would be... I'll get back to you on that. 

  I guess the most important part of the restaurant would be the food. Now the food would be I don't know maybe French food (I am so clever). So yeah, French food like French fries and French toast...Hahaha I'm just kidding. I would have foods along the lines of  Souffle au Fromage and Pate de Lapin, oh and how about some Mousse de foies de volaille. Sound good huh? Well if it does to you then you must speak some French, because I have no clue what those meals are I just got them off Google. God bless Google. But really a French restaurant would be pretty great in my opinion. But word to the wise learn to speak French...could really come in handy.

It’s known there are
Three types of Self
There’s the You that others see
There’s how You really
Are and how
You view Yourself to be
But as for me
I’ll add a fourth
Which means the most to me
It’s not what’s seen
It’s more about
The Self I want me to be
I don’t want to be
Some grouchy fart
Who spends his days alone
Instead I hope
To be the one
With a warm and loving home
A home where folks
Will come and go
Some will leave and others stay
Come through my door
Without a knock
At most any time of day
A place my kids
Will know as “home”
However far away they go
They’ll recall this place
With fond memories
Of Parents who loved them so
When the bad in life
Has got them down
Or they’ve got a troubled heart
The memories
Will serve them well
And make the dark clouds part
To look and see
The love we shared
Long after Im gone
To recall the laughs
All of the hugs
And a family that was strong
There’s nothing else
I can think of
More precious than their smile
When Im long gone
I pray they will
Think of me once in a while
Each time they laugh
Or feel love’s warmth
Coming from their inner space
I hope they will
Remember Dad
With a big smile on their face
I aspire to be
A simple man
Who’s a blessing not a curse
I hope to leave
My heart behind
Forever saved in verse
Someone who you
May never know
Save the words I leave behind
I hope they touch
Some part of you
And span through years of time
I pray the words
That I write down
For the entire World to see
Will help someone
I may never know
As much as they’ve helped me
I don’t wish to be
A person who
Only lives for material gain
I’d rather live
For the memories
Each passing day will bring
The material things
Will fade away
As soon as we cease to be
The only things
We can take with us
Are our own life’s memories
They make up who
And what we are
As they bond to our soul
They’re the only things
We get to take
When from this life we go
My treasures are
The things in life
I experience along the way
So I try my best
To make them good
As I live my life each day
I don’t want to be
Someone who
Lives with a heart of hate
Those are not the thoughts
I wish to take
I won’t let that be my fate
I wish to be
Someone who
You’ll think of as a friend
Someone you will
Fondly recall
Long after my days end
Someone who
When folks gather ‘round
And tell their stories about me
It’ll be with warmth
And a laugh or two
As they tell fond memories
And as they tell
Of things I did
I hope it always comes to light
Of words I shared
That inspired them
To love instead of fight
‘Cause it’s not for me
It’s for my Friends
For my Kids and for my Wife
My whole Family
I hope it’s clear
That’s why I lived my life
There’s so many people
In this World
That live to take from you
They’ll take everything
You have to give
Then disappear from view
When you are down
When your heart cries out
For a friend you look around
The times when you
Need someone to care
They are nowhere to be found
Then the loneliness
Fills you inside
From all over the place
And you feel complete
Aloneness as
The tears roll down your face
That’s when I hope
You’ll see me standing
In the corners of your mind
To know that you
Are not alone
You are in this heart of mine
When friends I know
Are feeling low
And there seems no one to care
I hope they look
Into their own mind
To see me standing there
Just a thought or two
Of something shared
To bring comfort to their soul
Some memory they
Will take with them
As through their lives they go
And every time
They’re feeling good
I hope I’ve played a part
I pray they’ll smile
Then think of me
As laughter fills their heart
I wish to live
For love of life
And to help others to see
The joys each day
This is The Self
That I Want Me To Be

Imagine you woke and saw a dinosaur in your backyard. Write a story telling what you see and do.

   Well this is a simple answer I don't have a backyard. I live in a n apartment complex, my backyard is another apartment complex. But If I did have a backyard and happen to see a dinosaur in it i would go ahead and admit myself into a mental institution. Because I would then fully realize the extent of my psychotic illness . Dinosaurs are extinct and if one was in my backyard that would be very very bad. Something would be terribly wrong with me or the world. And chances are it would be me. But if it did happen to be a real dino then I would be dead, because it would probably eat me. And if it was a herbivore it would then squish me or attack me. So dinosaurs in the backyard are a no no. Big no no to say the least.

Food

If you could cook any meal for family, what would you cook? Describe the meal and tell how you made make it?

  Well I think I will start by saying I don't like cooking. Not at all. I can cook just fine, good even. And on top of it I have to cook on Friday's for my family. I just don't like being in a hot kitchen, all the cutting, and seasoning, and the dirty dishes leftover. And I especially dislike that I can never eat what I cook. I don't know it's just that I put so much effort into it that I can't stand to eat it.
  But anyway I  guess if I had to I would bake them chocolate chip cookies. I'm talking about from scratch. I have always wanted to do it. I'm pretty good at baking but I have never done chocolate chip cookies from scratch. I would need flour, sugar, chocolate chips, eggs and I'm sure some other basic ingredients. I would mix that all up and bake. I think that's how it goes. The cookies would be so warm, soft and gooey. You would be able to smell them from anywhere in the house. You would have to have them with a cold glass of milk.

Well, the birds are singing
Out today
Up in the clear blue sky
And I hear noises
In the fields
Where all the wildlife lies
I’ve moved my bed
Over by this window
And there upon I lie
And I wonder why
On such a lovely day
I should realize you’ll die
I miss the days
Of yesteryears
I yearn for days of yore
I want to come back
Home again
And walk through your front door
I remember all
The silly things
We use to do for kicks
I don’t see how
You put up with us
And all our stupid tricks
From “poison ivy trees”
To playing house
And dancing to make it rain
You watched over us
And you protected us
And never once did you complain
You always met us
In the morning
With such a happy smile
And I knew inside
That if need be
You’d walk the miracle mile
While our parents worked
You stayed at home
And you took care of us
You fed us each
And every morning
And watched us get on the bus
We got up early
Every morning
And still asleep came down the hill
And we’d still be there
When evening came
And the night air began to chill
And there was breakfast
That you had made
Oatmeal or Cream of Wheat
It was quick and easy
And it tasted good
And it warmed us to our feet
You watched over us
With loving eyes
You laughed and cried along with us
And you never once
Though you saw through lies
Made us get on that old school bus
You were so glad
To have us home with you
And off to the store we’d go
You made us feel better
As you told us “no”
Then bought us things from row to row
You gave us all
That you had to give
And you made our lives so full of fun
But you gave us much more
Than material things
You gave us a home when we needed one
We grew up there
We laughed and cried
And through the hills we’d roam
And we never gave
A second thought
To calling your house “home”
We always knew
If we needed help
That Grandma would be there
We always knew
That no matter what
We had someone to care
You would take us in
Your loving arms
And hold us as we cried
As you spoke soft words
And eased our fears
You’d gently laugh inside
For you knew our problems
Were little ones
That they’d soon go away
And we’d forget about it
And go back outside
And with the other kids we’d play
I recall a time
When the other kids
Had their very own skateboard
But I had none
So you gave me all
The change that you had stored
Those coins were all
That you had left
And though you knew it all the while
You gave them to me
With a happy heart
And a warm and loving smile
You charged our parents
So very little
And you never raised a fuss
With the end of the year
And Christmas time
You gave it all right back to us
You spent your life
Giving all you had
To us, you’re “Little Ones”
And you took pride
As you watched us grow
And you saw what we’d become
You gave so much
You took so little
In my heart I feel so blue
For I’ve grown up now
And I’ve had kids
And they’re so far away from you
And I want so much
To call it quits
Like I’ve wanted to before
I want to see that smile
And those twinkling eyes
As we walk through your front door
For I want my children
To know your name
And to recall that loving face
So as years go by
They can fondly speak
Of their Great-Grandma’s old place
But for now I’m here
So far away
And I get letters and cards from you
And I know the quiet message
That you’re telling me
And I don’t know what to do
You won’t speak up
And say it out loud
For that is not your way
But with pleasant words
On a little card
You say what you can not say
The words you send
Are quite spoken
And coming from the heart
And between the lines
You’re telling me
That you shall soon depart
I long so much
To come back home
And be there by your side
To give you back some
Of what you gave to us
I want to make it home before you die
You gave your life
To all your kids
To your Grand & Great-Grand ones
And you’ve filled our lives
With so much love
So much happiness and fun
Now time has passed
And years have gone
And you have grown so old
You’ve not went far
From your front yard
Nor from that old dirt road
And you’ve never had
A lot of “things”
Nor much money to speak of
But how can a life
Be considered poor
When it’s given so much love
And I long so
To walk down that hill
And to see your sparkling eyes
And to eat Oatmeal
And to miss the bus
As you pretend to believe the lies
But we can’t go back
We must go on
For time will not stand still
And as I now long
To come back to you
I know one day I shall
In these few short words
I offer for you
All of the love I have to give
But I can never give half
Of what you gave to us
In as long as I might live
I know not what else
To say to you
But I hope you know it to be true
When I say from very
Deep within myself
Grandma…we all love you

It’s known there are
Three types of Self
There’s the You that others see
There’s how You really
Are and how
You view Yourself to be
But as for me
I’ll add a fourth
Which means the most to me
It’s not what’s seen
It’s more about
The Self I want me to be
I don’t want to be
Some grouchy fart
Who spends his days alone
Instead I hope
To be the one
With a warm and loving home
A home where folks
Will come and go
Some will leave and others stay
Come through my door
Without a knock
At most any time of day
A place my kids
Will know as “home”
However far away they go
They’ll recall this place
With fond memories
Of Parents who loved them so
When the bad in life
Has got them down
Or they’ve got a troubled heart
The memories
Will serve them well
And make the dark clouds part
To look and see
The love we shared
Long after Im gone
To recall the laughs
All of the hugs
And a family that was strong
There’s nothing else
I can think of
More precious than their smile
When Im long gone
I pray they will
Think of me once in a while
Each time they laugh
Or feel love’s warmth
Coming from their inner space
I hope they will
Remember Dad
With a big smile on their face
I aspire to be
A simple man
Who’s a blessing not a curse
I hope to leave
My heart behind
Forever saved in verse
Someone who you
May never know
Save the words I leave behind
I hope they touch
Some part of you
And span through years of time
I pray the words
That I write down
For the entire World to see
Will help someone
I may never know
As much as they’ve helped me
I don’t wish to be
A person who
Only lives for material gain
I’d rather live
For the memories
Each passing day will bring
The material things
Will fade away
As soon as we cease to be
The only things
We can take with us
Are our own life’s memories
They make up who
And what we are
As they bond to our soul
They’re the only things
We get to take
When from this life we go
My treasures are
The things in life
I experience along the way
So I try my best
To make them good
As I live my life each day
I don’t want to be
Someone who
Lives with a heart of hate
Those are not the thoughts
I wish to take
I won’t let that be my fate
I wish to be
Someone who
You’ll think of as a friend
Someone you will
Fondly recall
Long after my days end
Someone who
When folks gather ‘round
And tell their stories about me
It’ll be with warmth
And a laugh or two
As they tell fond memories
And as they tell
Of things I did
I hope it always comes to light
Of words I shared
That inspired them
To love instead of fight
‘Cause it’s not for me
It’s for my Friends
For my Kids and for my Wife
My whole Family
I hope it’s clear
That’s why I lived my life
There’s so many people
In this World
That live to take from you
They’ll take everything
You have to give
Then disappear from view
When you are down
When your heart cries out
For a friend you look around
The times when you
Need someone to care
They are nowhere to be found
Then the loneliness
Fills you inside
From all over the place
And you feel complete
Aloneness as
The tears roll down your face
That’s when I hope
You’ll see me standing
In the corners of your mind
To know that you
Are not alone
You are in this heart of mine
When friends I know
Are feeling low
And there seems no one to care
I hope they look
Into their own mind
To see me standing there
Just a thought or two
Of something shared
To bring comfort to their soul
Some memory they
Will take with them
As through their lives they go
And every time
They’re feeling good
I hope I’ve played a part
I pray they’ll smile
Then think of me
As laughter fills their heart
I wish to live
For love of life
And to help others to see
The joys each day
This is The Self
That I Want Me To Be

Silence invades,
Stifling all thought.
A man stands at the edge
of a chasm, confused,
Alone, lost.
He knows this place.
His body language
Makes it obvious,
But he is searching,
Something is missing.
He sees it, finally.
The burned wreckage
Of what was a bridge.
It collapsed down
To that far away floor.
Vague memories,
Of explosives
Made of words and actions
Come back to him,
He knows where he is
A whispered word,
Half remembered,
Unconsciously leaves his mouth
And floats across,
Echoing.
The word grows louder
As it rebounds
Bringing torturing clarity
To those oft forgotten
Memories.
He hears the word
For the first time
Since it left his mouth.
That terrible word
Brings tears to his eyes.
He reaches up,
Touches his face,
Feels the wetness.
Unbelieving the tears,
He looks down.
He stares long and hard
At the depths of that chasm.
His eyes trace the other side,
Looking for some way across,
But it is so far away.
Once it was so close,
He remembers.
Once this chasm wasn’t here,
But instead was solid
Beneath their feet.
Once he held her
On this very ground,
And he was happy.
As he thinks, the memories
Tear at his mind.
That word escapes
His mouth again
Without thinking
And her name echoes
Across the canyon.
Louder and Louder
It grows in his mind,
Driving him mad.
Despairing, searching,
He sees only her face.
He sees her clearly,
Right in front of him.
The ground is solid again.
He steps, trusting,
Just as she trusted.
But it was a sham,
A trick played
By his own mind,
The traitorous wretch,
And he falls.

Bravery?

Describe one time when you were brave.

   I don't think there has ever been a time when my true bravery was required. I mean like yeah when I was younger and I went to the doctors or dentist and didn't cry I considered things like those brave(especially when I was younger). But now every thing I do I do with confidence and courage in my heart.

  If I feel as though I can't do something then I simply don't do it. Not because I'm a quitter or anything like that, more so because if it takes so much out of me to do it then I don't think it's really worth it. The way I see it is like if I'm going to have to go through stressing out over whatever it is then why am I doing it? Why would I put myself through all that? The answer is I wouldn't. To me it's only logical that if I can't find the confidence in my heart to do it then obviously it wasn't meant for me  to do it. 

  I think once you think about it the true real life "heroes" (firefighters, police officers, marines, etc.) don't consider what they do acts of bravery. They see there jobs as their obligations, what they signed up for, their responsibilities.

  So to wrap it all up whenever If i decide that the task is important enough for me to do then I tell me self there is no need for fear. If I have no fear in my heart towards the task then there will be no need to overcome anything and be brave. I just do what I gotta do.

Random Acts of Kindness

Imagine you had a hundred dollars, but you couldn't keep it. You had to give it away to a person or charity. Who would you give it to? What would you want them to do with it?

   If I had $100  and had to give away to a person or charity I would give it to the charity of "Ashley's Empty Pockets."Hahaha no not really...although...nah I'm just joking. In all honesty If I had a hundred dollars to give away I would give it to a random person on the street.
   You are probably like "Are you crazy girl! How you just gonna give it to some random person?" You are most likely thinking that it's a really dumb thing to do. But guess what I don't care what you think so HA. No just joking again I do care what you think... But yeah there is a method to my maddness. You're like if I give a random person on the street a hundred dollars who knows what they might do with it! They might go buy drugs maybe even a prostitute. They could go buy a gun and hold up a liquor store the next day or they could just go buy something stupid like a plush pillow or something of that irrelevant nature. Well if that was what you are thinking then you are a very realistic person, and also possibly very correct. Your right my random person my very well be an evil, non-deserving of a dime, never did anything kind for anyone bastard. Or they could be a person who desperately needs to pay their rent so them and their kids won't be out on the streets tonight. That same person who you believe is going to shoot that 100 right up their arm could be using that 100 dollars to buy their ailing father insulin, because they don't have health care and dad's diabetes is rapidly getting worse.
   The way I see it just because you are not so unfortunate that you're living on the streets doesn't mean your not in need. We are all in need of something or the other, some way more than others. And it just so happens that all the charities in the world can't meet the needs of all the people who are in need. So yeah the person I give the $100 to might go use it for something bad or really stupid, but I like to think that I'd be giving it to someone who is truly in need of a blessing.

Do you remember

Do you remember the long walks

The deep talks

Do you remember the laughs we shared

How much we cared

Do you remember feeling as though we were one

Believing as though what we had would never come undone

Do you remember how much we smiled

The dreams of one day having a child

Do you remember all my tears

Facing all those fears

Do you remember the strength we had when we where together

Feeling as though there was nothing better

Do you remember the lies you told

When you grew so cold

I remember

I remember the way you used to be

Oh how you used to love me 

I remember how our emotions used to run so deep

Now when I think of you all I can do is weep

I remember the lonely nights

Those awful fights

I remember your broken promises 

And how you left my heart with all these callouses

I remember when you suddenly changed

Leaving me so lost, confused and deranged

I remember it all...Do you?

Free write 2

  In this dream I was being attacked by evil robots. Robots that happen to resemble Justin Beiber. So they were dancing, high pitched singing, flippy haired robots. They were like attacking me with their acid pee right. And for some reason it was like they had an everlasting supply of pee. I mean there were steady streams of non-stop urination. Ridiculous man, who knew robots had that much pee, who knew robots even peed. But like I said they were Beiber Bots so they were pretty easy to fool. All  I had to do was say "Hey look there goes Kim Kardashian!" and what do you know they would all  turn around. But after a few times I couldn't do that anymore and the Beiber Bots were closing in on me. There was no where for me to go. I knew I was a goner. But the faith intervened and 'The Wizard Called Usher' appeared  and commanded the Beiber Bots to stop. Whew! Close call, being killed by Justin Beiber robots is not on my list of ways to go. So 'The Wiz Usher' saved me from a terrible death and on top of it he gave me 2 tickets and a backstage pass to an Usher concert, but guess who was opening...Justin Beiber Oh no!!!!

   P.S. This was not a real dream and I have no problems or issues with Justin Beiber. No Hatin' on Beiber on this blog =]

Writing freely

  The first thing I want in the morning is more sleep. Waking up out of a wonderful sleep really sucks. It's like you close your eyes and before you know it there's that alarm clock buzzing. I think time speeds up when you go to sleep. 

   I wonder who made the decision we would sleep at night and wake in the morning. Not that it really matters, the only difference would be that instead of me complaining about the morning I would be complaining about the night.  there is no escaping it. *sigh* what's a girl to do. My mother says I should just go to sleep earlier. I bet you probably agree. well you are WRONG. For one because I have tried that...it's not for me. I tried but I just can't get to sleep before 10:30. Even if I get in bed at 8 I will sit up doing nothing for the next 2 and a half hours. And secondly because it is scientifically proven teens are wired to stay up late and wake up later. So HA I've got science on my side. Take that mom =p

 

Free write

 This journal is about cake. I really like cake. Especially birthday cake. My all time favorite birthday cake is white cake with real strawberry filling and butter-cream icing. Icing specifically not frosting because frosting is nasty. It looks pretty but tastes horrible.
 I wish I could have birthday cake everyday. Like who decided there had to be special days to eat cake? Cake eating should be an everyday type of event. 
 I would like to declare a national holiday for cake eating. Lets call it I don't know, Cake Day (clever I know). This is going to be one day out of the year where everyone is allotted all the cake they please. It shall be a holiday recognized around the world. I'm talking a serious holiday, not like Groundhogs day but New Year's...No even bigger than New Year's. 
 And just in case you're wondering my Cake Day isn't all about eating cake. I have purpose...Although cake is a reason in itself and doesn't require further explanation. But we have are wet blankets who may try to make our Cake Day all soggy so let me explain anyway. Look  at it this way throughout our communities, neighborhoods, schools, etc. there are many different cultures. These different cultures, of course, have different types of food. Food is common ground among all people. Especially if that food is cake! Now cake usually represents happy celebrations and gatherings. So Cake Day would be a holiday that stands for happy gathering of all different cultures while we enjoy cake. You get where I'm coming from? Yes. No. Maybe so? Well regardless I think it's a great idea. Well at least it is if you like cake... Anyway I say let the cake unite us and bring us closer together.

LET US EAT CAKE!!!